


The Pilot and His Big Deal

by John5mith



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Fingerfucking, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Movie, Rated Explicit for later chapters, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5577886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John5mith/pseuds/John5mith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The destruction of the Starkiller base has left the First Order wounded, but not defeated. When pilot Poe Dameron returns to the Resistance Base he has one thing on his mind. Tell Finn how he really feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake Up, Please...

**Author's Note:**

> So major spoilers for the movie. If you haven't see it and wish to remain unspoiled, leave now. Also, I tried to make this as close to the ending of the movie as possible, but since Disney won't let us have beautiful space boyfriends (at least, not yet) I did have to change a few things.

Poe would always remember this day. Which in itself was a miracle. Usually he was so enamored with flying, still high off the adrenaline even days after a mission, that he could hardly remember a thing. On more than one occasion he’d had to read the briefing to recall the specifics. But even something as big and unforgettable as destroying the Starkiller Base was overshadowed, all memories leaving his mind as he climbed out of his X-Wing and spotted Finn.

His eyes closed and his back scarred by a broad cauterized stroke. He watched in stunned silence, seeing Finn carried out of the Millennium Falcon by Chewbacca and Rey. Laid down on that makeshift medical speeder and sped off somewhere into the base. 

BB-8 rolled up to him and let out a series of low groans. _What’s wrong?_ The droid asked.

“Finn.” Poe whispered to himself.

Poe ran towards the Falcon, knowing he’d never catch up with the speeder carrying Finn.

“Rey!” Poe called out. The girl looked sick, her face covered in red splotches and her clothes wet from the snow on the base..They pulled one another into an embrace. Honestly Poe was surprised, they’d hardly spoken ten words to one another, but he wouldn’t argue. It was nice to have a warm body nearby. 

“What happened?” He asked. He pulled back and gripped her shoulders.

“It was Kylo.” She stuttered. 

“What?”

“He… He killed Han.”

Poe almost asked her to repeat what she’d said. It couldn’t be. Han Solo. Awarded General of the Rebellion, pilot of the Millennium Falcon, husband to Leia Organa and friend to Luke Skywalker. Gone. But the look in her eyes told him it was the truth.

“What about Finn? Is he okay?”

Rey closed her eyes and put her forehead against Poe’s chest. Then she started crying. “I… I dunno.” She managed through the tears. “Kylo. He-” She couldn’t finish her sentence. Poe embraced her once again, petting the back of her head in an attempt to sooth her.

“It’s okay.” Poe said, but even he doubted his own words. He kept back tears. “Come on, we can check the medical bay.” Poe released her and started running towards the closest base entrance. No doubt he’d be reprimanded for not completing final diagnostics on his X-Wing, but he couldn’t wait, not for Finn. 

The base was in both chaos and celebration. Troves of people marched from one end to the other, each on their own individual missions. The First Order was far from vanquished. Their commanders Hux, Ren, and Phasma had supposedly fled the base moments before it imploded. And even if they hadn’t survived the blast, Snoke still wandered the galaxy aimlessly, no doubt putting his next move into action. The Resistance still had a ways to go.

Poe didn’t have to turn around to know Rey and BB-8 had followed him. Rey’s heavy and labored breathing along with a _thud_ every time BB rolled off a step. Poe took a sharp left through a small labyrinth of hallways, maneuvering between the crowds. 

He’d never actually been to the medical wing of the base. In fact, if possible, he preferred to avoid them entirely. Something about the stench of tools being sanitized with chemicals, the people laying there in pain. He hated it. 

Then he saw Finn laying there. Already hooked up to life support devices and a breathing mask. They’d taken Poe’s jacket and in their haste, thrown it in the corner of the corner of the room; leaving Finn in his black jumpsuit. The one that’d once been covered up by his white Stormtrooper armor. 

“Finn!” Poe and Rey both cried out at the same time and ran to him. 

Dr. Kalonia was already attending to him, recording his vitals. “You two need to get out of here.” She fussed, taking something from an attendant droid.

“But we-” Rey began, her voice still slightly hoarse. 

“No, we won’t be able to do our work with the two of you standing around.” She waved her hand at them. “Shoo! You can wait in the hallway.”

The two of them stood there, dumbfounded at the doctor’s words; but it was clear that this was a battle they wouldn’t win. They retreated to the hallway outside the medical wing, the door closing shut behind them. Rey and Poe both slumped against the wall, and slid down until they felt the cool concrete underneath them.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Rey asked. She laid her head on Poe’s shoulders, closing her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Mistress Rey?” A robotic voice echoed down the hallway.

Rey opened her eyes and watched as the golden protocol droid with the crimson arm marched slowly down the hallway. 

“And Master Poe! Oh thank goodness I found you!”

“What is it 3PO?” Poe asked, his voice tired.

“General Organa wishes to speak with the two of you. She said it was urgent.”

“We’re a little preoccupied at the moment 3PO, can it wait?” Poe asked.

“I’m sorry sir, but the General said it was of the utmost importance that you meet with her.”

Poe sighed and nudged at Rey to stand up. “Come on. He won’t leave until we go with him.”

Despite the droid’s static face he still managed to seem offended. Rey and Poe stood up, brushing the dirt off their legs and followed the droid.

The main command hub of the Resistance base was less occupied than Poe thought it’d be. Really only a handful of people filled it; of course there was Admiral Ackbar and Admiral Statura eyed something on a holoscreen, and Lieutenant Connix walked briskly from one end of the room to the other, her eyes occupied by the tablet she held. A few other commanders and lieutenants walked around, each of them on their own quest.

Then there was General Organa, who sat in the corner of the room, hidden behind a wall of computers, her face towards the wall and buried in her hands. 

“General Organa.” 3PO spoke quietly. “I have brought Master Poe and Mistress Rey as you requested.”

Poe heard General Organa sniff and wipe her eyes, then she turned to face them. “Thank you 3PO. You’re dismissed.”

“Yes ma’am. If there is anything I might-” The droid began. 

“Thank you 3PO.” She repeated, cutting the droid off.

C-3PO gave a slight bow and walked away, leaving just the three of them. “Come on BB-8.” He muttered.

“How is Finn?” She asked. Poe noticed her eyes were hinted with red.

“We’re not sure. Doctor Kalonia wouldn’t let us see him.”

BB-8 let out a sad whine.

“Probably for the best. Lightsabers can cause some serious damage.” She crossed her arms and walked out of the corner. She didn’t tell Poe or Rey to follow her, but they did anyway. “I called you two here because I wanted to talk about our next move.”

“Next move General?” Poe asked.

“Yes. We’ve struck a critical blow against the Order, but we aren’t done yet. Especially with Snoke still out there. If there’s anything fighting the Empire taught me, it’s that there’s always a bigger enemy.” She leaned over a hologram projection of something Poe didn’t recognize.

“Snoke?” Said Rey.

“An ancient being of the Dark Side. He’s the one that turned Be-” Poe stopped himself. “Kylo.”

“What can we do?” Rey asked.

“You have still Luke’s lightsaber?” Leia looked to Rey. 

Rey nodded. She still had the silver cylinder clutched tightly in her hands, eyeing it almost as if she’d forgotten she ever had it.

“Our next step is to find Luke. We need him if we want to combat Snoke.”

“With all due respect General, how do you propose we go about that?” Poe spoke curtly “We’ve been searching for him for almost a decade.”

Leia sighed once again. “That’s where I’m drawing a blank. I was hoping you two could help me.” The General walked over to Rey and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Rey. I think you’re the one meant to find him.”

“Me?” Rey blurted out.

“I can feel it.” Leia replied. “I can feel the Force flowing through you. I think you might be the only one who can convince him to come back.”

“R2-D2!” They heard C-3PO cry out. “Thank the maker! He’s back.”

It was strange to see the blue and white astromech droid mobile after so many years hidden in a corner underneath a sheet. Poe, along with everyone else in the room, stared in disbelief as the droid whirred to life once again.

“And you have what?” C-3PO asked.

“What is it 3PO?” Leia walked closer to the two droids, kneeling down to look at R2-D2.

“General Organa, R2-D2 says that he’s found something.”

“What?”

“Well…” It was clear the droid didn’t want to say anything. “He says he’s found the map to Master Luke.”

The room went silent as every eye focused on the blue droid. 

“What?” The General repeated, she stood up abruptly. 

“The map Mistress. More specifically the missing half we’ve been searching for.”

“R2 why didn’t you tell us you had it?” Leia sounded more angry than pleased, which Poe understood wholeheartedly. 

The astromech let out a series of beeps and whines, almost sounding apologetic. 

“R2 wishes to apologize for any distress he may have caused, but he says that Master Luke hid it deep within his memory in case of emergencies unbeknownst to even him, and that he has finally located the file!” 3PO replied. 

R2 wheeled forward into a more open area of the room and projected a large blue map with a large portion of the middle removed.

“BB.” Poe said, walking over to the large command unit in the middle of the room and taking out the datachip with the rest of the map. He slid the chip into the small droid and watched him roll towards R2. BB-8 projected a piece of the map that slid perfectly into the missing portion of R2’s.

“Is that…” Rey began.

Leia waked forward. “We found him.”

“What are all these markings?” Rey asked.

“Jedi temples probably.” Leia’s face was full of wonder. “Luke set out to find the first one. The very first Jedi temple. These must be the routes he took.” Leia palmed one of the holographic planets, the one signaling the end of Luke’s journey. 

“What planet is that?” Poe walked through the hologram and stood beside Leia. 

“I’m not sure.”

“It’s not recorded on any of our databases.” Connix called, her fingers dancing on a keyboard. “But we have the coordinates locked in.” 

The hologram shut down. “We found him.” Leia was smiling.

The next few days passed in a blur for the rest of the Resistance, but not for Poe. Most mornings he’d wake up and go right to the medical wing, other days he’d wake up still in the infirmary, his back aching from the hard, uncomfortable chair he’d slept in.

“Master Dameron, if you’d like we can contact you personally when Master Finn wakes up.” The medical droid stated coldly. Poe couldn’t blame the lack of sympathy in the voice, it was a droid after all. 

“I think I’ll stay if that’s alright with you.” Poe answered back, a little more curtly than he’d meant. The droid had done nothing wrong, and he couldn’t blame it for his anxieties. 

“Of course.” The droid gave a nod with it’s head and began rechecking Finn’s vitals.

He’d made a promise to himself before the attack on the Starkiller base. If he survived the excursion; the odds of which were fairly low, the first thing he’d tell Finn was that he was in love with him. 

Being a pilot had taught Poe so many things. Most important of which was that life was fleeting, and that anyone could die at anytime. He didn’t want to wait for something else to happen to Finn, especially if he planned on staying with the Resistance. 

Dr. Kalonia had told Poe that Finn was stable; but the impact of the wound, which she thought to have been inflicted by a lightsaber, had thrown him into some kind of shock, and left him comatose. Poe kept his eyes forward on Finn’s unconscious body, the way his chest moved up and down with his breathing, the IV’s running into his wrists. 

Poe peeked around the room, making sure all of the doctors were gone. Total lack of a ground invasion meant Finn had been the only injury, and General Organa had requested everyone meet in the Command Center for a debriefing on Rey’s mission to find Luke; though she’d graciously allowed Poe to miss the meeting in favor of getting much needed rest.

The pilot slid out of the observation room and opened the main door to the infirmary. He looked around for any doctors or staff who’d stayed behind, but found none. He took a stool from a tall desk and wheeled it over to Finn’s bed, taking a seat beside him.

Poe was a bit ashamed to admit that he’d fallen for Finn the moment he’d set eyes on him. At least aesthetically fallen for him. He was _supposed_ to be the enemy, but those thick lips, those hazel eyes, and that gorgeous dark brown skin. Thankfully Finn had crushed any guilt he felt within seconds, revealing that he was deserting the Order and needed Poe to help him escape. 

Then there was the crash, the journey off Jakku, all the while thinking Finn was dead somewhere in all that sand; and his reunion with the Resistance. Seeing Finn march on the landing strip, gun in his hand and Poe’s jacket. Damn he looked good in that jacket. He hardly knew him, but he was hopelessly enamored with Finn. 

Poe took Finn’s hand in his own, running his own thumb over Finn’s. He sat in silence, marveling over the boy below him. It was all he could do not to kiss those lips. Then he felt Finn’s hands slowly curl into a fist, and the boy released a long breath.

“Finn?” Poe whispered.

It was for nothing. Finn’s grip relaxed a moment later and he resumed his normal breathing, his vitals shrank back down to their comatose state. Poe sighed, downtrodden. He took one more look at Finn and stood up. 

“I’ll be back, okay? Don’t wake up without me.” He smiled, leaning down and kissing Finn’s forehead. As much as he wanted to stay, he was in desperate need of a shower and a meal that wasn’t one of the protein bars in kept in his flight suit for emergencies. 

When he’d washed the grime of the last few days away he went to the nearly empty cafeteria and picked at his food, too nervous to eat. He threw most of his food away and walked out onto the landing strip where the assault ships of the Resistance were kept, ready for flight at a moment’s notice. He found his own black and orange X-Wing and ran a hand down the belly. 

He was still thankful that he’d taken an unregistered X-Wing to Jakku. If his own ship had been destroyed by the Order, he wasn’t sure what he’d have done. Poe turned when he heard the _whirrr_ of BB-8 rolling towards him, and the voice of Rey.

She wasn’t dressed in her worn desert garb anymore. Instead she wore a vest much like general Organa’s and gloves that began just below her shoulders, along with a black and white blaster at the belt wrapped thrice around her waist.

“Hey.” She said, moving a wind-blown strand of hair out of her face.

“Hey.” Poe checked the console beside the X-Wing. “The briefing over?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“When are you heading out?”

“Today, few hours actually.”

“Wow. Moved it up a bit didn’t they?” He laughed.

“Yeah.” She chuckled. “I think Leia’s ready to find him.”

“I think we all are.” He looked at Rey. “Do you really think it’s him?” Poe wondered.

She shrugged. “Who else could it be?” She smiled.

Poe couldn’t help but chuckle. “You have a point.” He sat down on one of the large boxes. “Just seems so strange that we could actually find him.” Poe eyed the clear blue sky.

“Did you visit Finn today?” She followed his lead, sitting down beside him.

Poe nodded.

“And?”

“Still the same. I thought there was- I don’t know. I thought he might wake up. There was something.”

“Something?” She asked.

“Something.” He repeated.

“You love him don’t you?” She asked bluntly.

Instead of being shocked or surprised, Poe just nodded. “Yeah. Well,” He smiled. “I like him at least. I’m not sure about love.” He held his left hand in his right.

“You going to tell him?”

Poe nodded again.

“Good.” She grinned.”He’s a good man.”

“Better than he thinks he is.” Poe replied.

“I’m going to go see him before I leave.” She said.

“I’m sure he’d like that.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Depends on the favor.” He teased.

“Can you take care of him?” She waited. “For me. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, or if I’ll even be back. And he needs someone.”

Poe eyed her and grinned. “Yeah. I will.”

“Thank you.” Rey stood up and Poe watched her walk towards the infirmary where Finn would be waiting for her. 

BB-8 rolled closer to Poe and sat besides the box. Poe wanted to head back to the infirmary, but the idea of running into Rey again just made him feel strange. Their words had felt like a goodbye, at least to Poe. He waited until he saw the massive doors of the hanger open and a crowd of people lead by Rey and Leia to pass towards the Millennium Falcon before he stood up and jogged back to the infirmary, he wasn’t one for ceremony anyway.

“Poe. Good to see you.” Dr. Kolonia tended to be more forgiving when she wasn’t handling emergency patients. She greeted Poe with a sweet smile and wrote something down. “Here to see Finn?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.”

Kolonia sighed. “Still no signs of change. I hate to say it, but if he doesn’t wake u-”

“He will.” Poe interrupted.

Kolonia gave him a sympathetic look and patted his shoulder. “I’ll leave you two alone.” Her words sounded condescending, but Poe tried to ignore them. She walked to her desk and picked up something, then walked out the door. Poe wheeled the same chair from earlier and sat back down next to Finn.

“Rey’s gone.” He began. “For a little while at least. She’s gone to get Luke Skywalker, can you believe that?” It felt strange to talk to someone who couldn’t respond, but just sitting here in silence made Poe feel weirder somehow. “She took the Falcon, along with Chewbacca and R2, you know that little blue droid that was shut down? Turns out he had the map the whole time!” He laughed, trying to break an unbreakable tension. “You should’ve seen General Organa’s face, she was so mad.”

Poe’s smiled faded when he looked back at Finn. His eyes and mouth still closed, totally unresponsive. “General Organa isn’t sure what to do next. I’m pretty sure she’s waiting to see what Luke will do.”

Poe sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more than usual. “Finn. I uh-” He wasn’t sure what to say. What did he say? Really he could say anything, Finn couldn’t respond to it, at least not right now. But something told Poe he could hear what the pilot was saying.

“I love you Finn.” He said, petting Finn’s hair. It felt slightly coarse, but still soft. He wanted to keep running his fingers along it, but Poe figured he’d met his creepy quota for the day, Finn was unconscious after all. He gave Finn one more kiss on the forehead and stood up, pushing the chair underneath the desk again and walking towards the door.

“Poe?” He heard a voice, and knowing he was alone, Poe turned around and saw hazel eyes staring back at him.

“Finn.”


	2. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn wakes up, and the first person he sees when he opens his eyes in Poe Dameron.

The first word from Finn’s mouth when he woke up was “Poe?”

“Finn.” Poe said, nearly a whisper.

It was almost like a dream, and Finn was sure he’d wake up in a few minutes. No, this had to be real. Poe gliding over to him, nearly landing on his knees as he placed his hands on Finn’s. 

Finn tried to sit up, to meet Poe’s gaze, but everything hurt, especially his back.

“Keep still, you shouldn’t move so much.” Poe said. He pressed one of the buttons on the side of the bed, and slowly the upper half of Finn’s body began to rise to meet him. “Hey.” The pilot said when Finn’s brown eyes finally met Poe’s. 

“Hey.” He smiled. Then he thought for a second. “Where am I?”

“Resistance Base hospital.”

“What happened?” He asked.

“I’m not sure, I was sort of hoping you could tell me. Rey said it was a lightsaber, but we didn’t talk about it much after that.”

“Ren.” Finn said. He looked down.

“So it was him.” Poe’s voice didn’t sound angry, but Finn could tell he was. There wasn’t something about it, something slightly different that gave it away.

“Hey.” Finn placed a cool hand on top of Poe’s. 

He could see Poe relax, his shoulder sag just a bit. He might’ve been a janitor, but Stormtroopers all received the same basic training growing up, a large portion of which was devoted to psychological analysis. He figured it was was for interrogations, or maybe for the battlefield, but it could really be applied anywhere.

“How do you feel?” Poe asked him.

“It hurts, but I think I’ll get over it.” Finn tried to laugh, but he wasn’t in the mood for it.

“I should probably call Dr. Kolonia back here. Let her know you’re awake.”

“That might be a good idea.”

They both sat looking at the remote that would call Dr. Kolonia, neither one of them making a move to press it.

“Finn.” Poe began.

“Dameron.” Finn replied.

Poe chuckled lightly. “There’s uh… There’s something that I wanted to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“Something that I promised myself I’d tell you if I survived the Starkiller attack.”

“Uh-huh.” Finn could feel his hands getting sweaty for some reason, and his heart beating faster. The last time he’d felt like this had been… Jakku. On his first assignment...

“I’m a pilot.”

“I’m aware.” Finn tried to make a joke, but his heart wasn’t in it, and apparently, neither was Poe’s. He stopped laughing when he saw the expression on Poe’s face.

“When I’m flying around out there, I can get shot down at any moment.” Poe swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. “And I’ve lost too many friends to this line of work. One second they can be flying right beside me, and the next, they’re just… they’re gone. I’ve learned not to take things for granted.” He waited. “To not take people for granted...”

“Poe-” Finn began, but Poe stopped him.

“Let me finish, please?”

Finn nodded, leaning back against his pillow.

“Finn. I really like you. Like, really, really like you.” Poe admitted. Finn couldn’t help but grin at the way he was stammering. There was something about the way Poe spoke, something innocent. “I mean, that sounded stupid. What I mean is- I’m sorry.” Poe raked a hand through his curly hair, mussing it up.

Finn made a split-second decision, choosing to spare Poe any further embarrassment. He leaned in, pressing his lips to Poe’s. Those warm, thin, delicious lips. 

He pulled away. “Sorry. I-”

Poe leaned back in, kissing Finn again, and letting Finn taste him. After a second or two, it was clear to Finn that Poe knew what he was doing, so he relaxed, letting the pilot take the lead. 

By any standard the kiss shouldn’t have been good. Both of their lips were dry and chapped, and Finn was seated at an awkward angle, but neither of them cared.

Poe slipped his mouth open first, his tongue pressing at Finn’s lips before those opened. Poe slipped in, leaning further into Finn, placing a hand on Finn’s cheek and running along the smooth dark brown skin. 

Poe pulled out of the kiss first, leaving Finn to catch his breath. He could feel his cheeks grow hot as he realized that he was growing hard under the sheets of the bed. He tried to hide it with his hands, but then saw that Poe was just as hard as he was, his pants tenting. Thankfully Poe didn’t seem to notice Finn’s erection.

Finn cracked a smile. “I guess I should say I like you too.”

“Never would’ve guessed.” Poe grinned. He ran a hand through his thick curls again, and Finn was jealous. He wanted nothing more than to feel that hair through his fingers. He was sure it was soft as silk.

“Poe, you should know…” Finn began. “I’ve never done this before.” He waved his hands quickly. “I’ve never… dated anyone, or had feelings like these before.” Finn looked down. Dating wasn’t exactly something that was encouraged where he came from.

The Order didn’t attempt to enforce chastity, knowing that it would only make illicit affairs more commonplace and more distracting. So long as it didn’t get too emotional, everyone involved was consenting, and those with reproductive organs tested themselves after every encounter, the Order left them to it. 

Finn had only ever had one partner, a man he only knew by JP-9044, another janitor on the Starkiller. He surprised Finn by pulling him into a maintenance closet. They continued for a few months after that, and then Finn never saw 9044 again. He didn’t exactly want to think about what’d happened to him.

“That’s okay.” Poe put a finger to Finn’s chin, lifting the boy’s head back up so their eyes could meet.

“So what do we do?” Finn asked.

“Well, in my experience. We’ll kiss, we’ll talk, we’ll hold hands.” Poe moved a little closer. “Maybe some other stuff.” His voice went smooth in an instant, nearly at a whisper and so much deeper than before.

Finn sat for just a second, totally dumbfounded by the man in front of him. Then he tried to play along. “Like what?”

“You’ll find out.” Poe teased. “But for now you need to get better.” Finn watched Poe reach over to the remote that would call Dr. Kolonia. She came through the door a second later.

“Ah Finn, good to see you awake.” She said with a smile. She grabbed a datapad from her desk and walked over to the bed. “Poe, you didn’t happen to notice what time it was when he woke up did you?”

“I didn’t. Sorry.”

“Oh no worries. Do you have an estimate?”

“About a minute, probably less.” Poe gave him a side-glance. Finn cracked a smile at the lie. Of course the doctor probably would be too fond to learn that they’d decided to make-out with one another before calling her.

She tapped away at her datapad. “Do you feel any pain Finn?”

“A little.” Finn grimaced. “Mostly on my back.” There was still a sharp pain when he tried to twist around.

“Well that’s understandable.” She said, her voice light. “Most people who get a lightsaber to their backs don’t walk away from it like you did.” She flipped her datapad over, showing Finn and Poe a model of what couldn’t only be Finn’s spine. “The stroke missed your spinal cord by a few inches, so there won’t be any long lasting damage thankfully.”

Finn relaxed. 

“The bad news is that until we get you into physical therapy, you will need a hoverchair. There is only so much our machines can do. Sometimes the body just has to heal on it’s own. After that you’ll more than likely need the assistance of a cane or leg braces for a few more weeks.”

He nodded. It wasn’t the best news, but it wasn’t anything permanent. 

“I’d also like to keep you here for observation. At least until tomorrow. Just to be safe.”

Finn nodded again, not exactly sure that he had a choice in the matter. “Thank you doctor.”

She gave a short bow. “Let me know if you need anything.”

They watched her leave the room.

“Do you want me to stay?” Poe asked. 

“Yes.” Finn said.

Finn watched as Poe pulled a chair around to his bed.

“So where’s Rey?” Finn asked.

“Oh man, you missed that. I totally forgot.” Poe chuckled to himself. “Turns out R2, you know that little blue astromech? Turns out he had the other half of the map the whole time.”

“The map to Skywalker? Really?

Poe nodded. He put his hands behind his head. “Rey left a few hours ago to go and find him. Some planet called Ahch-To. Supposedly it was the site of one of the first Jedi Temples, but we don’t have any records on it.”

“Did she say good bye?”

Poe nodded. “You were still asleep.”

She was really gone. It was hard to believe that she wasn’t here, that she’d left without waiting for him to wake up. Finn tried to push those thoughts away. He knew it wasn’t fair, the galaxy needed Skywalker, now more than ever. And Rey was the only one who could find him.

Poe placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Hey, she’ll be alright. She can take care of herself.”

“I know.” Finn muttered. “I’m guessing you got the base?”

He could see Poe light up. “Yeah, we got it.”

“And Ren, and Phasma?”

“Unaccounted for. We’re pretty sure they got away before it exploded. The Order’s running with their tail between their legs. Rey said she got a few good hits on Ren too.” Both of them laughed. Poe didn’t resist as Finn took his hand again, rubbing the slightly rough skin. That was Poe. He looked rough from a distance, but close up he smooth, calm almost.

Poe let Finn take his hand, and looked at Finn. They didn’t say anything, they just stared at one another. _He’s like a painting._ Finn thought. 

Poe’s comlink ruined the moment. He pulled the small device from his pocket with his free hand and put it to his mouth. “You got Poe.”

“Poe, I need you in the command post. First Order’s on the move.” Hearing General Organa’s voice surprised him. He looked to Finn who was smiling again.

“Sorry, duty calls.” He smirked.

“Go. Take em’ out.”

Finn felt Poe’s hand slip out of his own. The door opened, then closed, and Poe was gone, and Finn was alone. Poe’s kisses still burned in his mind. The feeling of those lips, that tongue. His hands. He wanted to explore every inch of Poe Dameron, to grasp that hair and pull back as he took Poe’s body for his own.

Finn snapped himself out of his trance. He and Poe hadn’t even discussed sex. Sure Poe had mentioned it, but only indirectly. They’d need to talk more about, set boundaries for themselves. At least, that’s what 9044 and him had done. 

They’d laid out the rules right there in the closet, between their kisses. No biting except on the neck or ears. 9044 asked if Finn minded topping, or sucking his dick. Finn had no complaints. It’d been a few good months, but with Poe…

Finn didn’t want to think about it, he’d only get himself more worked up, more impatient, but a quick look around the hospital wing told him he didn’t have much more to do. He tried to sleep, after being in a unconscious for around two days, he wasn’t tired. He tried to turn over on his side, but that only made the wound on his back hurt that much worse. 

He’d been bed ridden only once. It was during a training exercise on a mountain and his ankle had twisted the wrong way. That one hadn’t taken so long to heal, but he’d been stuck in the medical unit for a few days before the Order finally released him. 

But even then there had been other people to talk to. Fellow injured troops stuck in the same place he was. Talking with them had made those awful days pass quickly. But this time, he was alone.

“Glad to see you’re awake.”

Finn heard the voice, his eyes shooting open. He hadn’t heard the door open, hadn’t heard the footsteps, but there was no mistaking that voice.

“General Organa.” Finn said, his voice a little shaky. The woman had presence, and demanded respect, which really wasn’t needed. From everything Finn had read about her, being one of the founders of the Rebellion, the reforming of the New Republic. She deserved the respect she was given.

“How do you feel?” She crossed her arms, not bothering to take a seat.

“Better. Can’t say it doesn’t hurt though.” He laughed. 

She smiled, finally sitting on the edge of Finn’s bed. “I know it’s probably the last thing on your mind right now.” She began. “But I wanted to talk to you about your future with the Resistance.”

“Alright.”

“I’m guessing you want to stay.”

Finn couldn’t imagine a life anywhere else. “Yes. If I can.”

“I figured. Just didn’t want to assume anything.” She took a breath. “So you were a Stormtrooper?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Would you be interested in field work?”

Finn’s mind flashed to that first night on Jakku, those people being rounded up and shot. Could he go back to being a solider? Obviously the Resistance wasn’t the same, and he doubted he’d ever be asked to fire on innocent civilians.

He’d cut down so many Stormtroopers, people he’d once considered allies. He thought of ‘Nines’, the way he’d screamed at him, called him a traitor. Seeing him lifeless on the ground just a few seconds later. He’d been trying to kill him, and Finn knew Han didn’t have any other choice, but still.

General Organa must have sensed his uneasiness. “Or we could find something else, a better fit for you maybe. As much as you’ve done for us. You’re part of the reason that Starkiller monstrosity is gone.”

“What would I do?”

“We can figure out something. I’m sure you’ve got more strengths than just your info on the Order, but we can talk about it once you’ve recovered.” She patted his shoulder. “I also wanted to ask if you were okay.”

“I think so. Like I said my back still hurts.”

“Well, I was thinking more about emotionally. Mentally.”

“Oh.” Finn looked at her hands, now in her lap. Despite the air of authority she carried, he couldn’t help but notice her nails had been chewed to the bit.

“War can do so many different things to so many people. Even after all these years, I still wake up some nights. Thinking about all those people on Alderaan. One second here, and the next just gone.”

The Destruction of Alderaan, the first and only example of the first Death Star. It was something spoken of frequently, especially when comparing the moon-sized station to the Starkiller. 

Finn didn’t respond. 

“If you ever need someone to talk to. I’m always here.”

“Thank you General.”

“Call me Leia.”

Finn smirked, knowing that it’d be too strange to call the General by her first name, but he did it anyway.One time couldn’t hurt. “Thank Leia.”

She nodded, and then waited, taking a look around the wing. “I guess I’d better get back to the command station.” She sighed, standing up and straightening out her vest.

“If I can ask General, where did Poe have to go?”

“Usually that information would be classified to most, but I know you two are friends.” Finn didn’t bother correcting her. Mostly because he was unsure just what he and Poe were. “There’s a Star Destroyer that’s been abandoned near Naboo, I sent Poe’s squad to investigate.” 

“Oh.” Was all Finn could think of to say.

“It’s pretty routine, and unless something happens they won’t actually be engaging anyone. I just wanted the intel.” She smirked, and then stood up. “I’d better get back to the command post. I’ll come and visit you tonight, okay?”

Finn nodded. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” The General patted his hand, and then left, leaving Finn alone again.


	3. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn's recovery is going well, and Poe's back from his mission. But something's gone wrong, and Finn wants to find out what.

Finn huffed as he lifted himself one more time. His knuckles slightly darker from their tight grip on the rails. He heaved out of his hoverchair and balanced on the walkway. He took it slow. First his right leg, and then his left. Right, left, right left. He did this until he made it to the end of the walkway, and then he slowly turned around, careful not to twist his body.

Again. Right, left, right left. Until he’d made it back to his chair. It didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it had before, but each step still caused at least a little pain. Dr. Kolonia said that would be normal, but she’d already fitted him for leg supports, ones she claimed would take the pressure off his spine and help his back relax. 

“Good job, excellent Finn!” His physical therapist jogged over and placed a hand on the small of Finn’s back, helping him ease back down into the hoverchair. “You’re doing great.” 

Doctor Tabor was a small but strong woman, with a shaved head and deep brown skin just a few shades darker than Finn’s own. Dr. Kolonia had introduced the two of them when Finn was released from bed rest. She was friendly, though a little over enthusiastic. Which Finn guessed was better than having a therapist who didn’t care at all.

“You okay?” She asked when Finn was fully seated.

He nodded. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Do you want to go again.”

“Think that’s enough for me today.” He said shaking his head.

“Well you’ve earned some rest.”

They both smiled. “I think I’m going to go around the base, get some air.”

“Okay, call me if you need any help.”

“Thanks.” Finn turned his chair around and maneuvered to the hallway outside the training room. He hadn’t been too thrilled when he saw the chair for the first time, but Dr. Kolonia insisted it would only be for a day or two. 

Two droids had inspected his legs thoroughly. Scanning and prodding them so they could get the right measurements for his leg supports. It wasn’t even that he minded having to use the chair, but the interiors of the Resistance Base were enclosed and tight, so Finn always felt flushed and embarrassed when people had to step aside to let him by. 

He also had a cane that was collapsed and hidden on the side of the chair, but that was actually slower than just using the chair.

Finn went out the door he’d found the day before. It was meant as an emergency exit, but there was no alarm attached to it. On the other side he found himself at the rear of the base, where there was nothing but the forests to greet him. Yesterday he’d gone about two yards down a path he saw, but today he sat close to the door. Enjoying the fresh air of D’qar, away from the hustle of the rest of the Resistance. 

Here he could think in peace and quiet. Here he could think about what General Organa had told him. She’d handed him a future on a silver platter, and of course he couldn’t take it for granted, but did he really want it? 

Of course he _wanted_ to stay with the Resistance, but _could_ he? He’d trained to be a soldier, but Finn knew he couldn’t go back to that. No way in hell he could be a pilot, no matter how great the feeling of flying alongside Poe would be. A spy? He didn’t have the training, and with his injuries, he doubt he ever could. An officer maybe? He still didn’t have the training, but he knew battles, and there was no reason he couldn’t learn the further ins and outs of warfare. Maybe standing alongside General Organa wouldn’t be so bad.

He smiled, but still let out a sigh and leaned his head back, staring through the trees at the bright blue sky, not a single cloud to be found. He closed his eyes, sure he could fall asleep right there, but then came a familiar screech. The howl of several engines closing in. And then, several X-Wings, flying in a V formation appeared high above the planet’s surface, slowing their descent so they could land. 

And right in front, leading the squadron, was a black and orange X-Wing that was all to familiar.

Finn beamed.

He turned his hoverchair around, and began hovering back towards the base. He stayed outside, it would be fast this way. He pushed the chair as hard as he could, trying to make it to the other side of the base where the landing strip was. Thoughts of Poe flooded his mind. His hair, the way his lips tasted, his hands on Finn’s. That only made him push the chair harder, not caring if it broke underneath him. 

Finn rounded one corner, and then another, barely meeting anyone. These sides of the base served as emergency exits and warehouses, where no one frequented except for Finn in his moments of private meditation. Finn rounds another corner, meeting the open space of the landing strip, watching as each of the X-Wings touch down, their pilots climbing from their canopies, their droids whirring behind him. It only takes a few seconds to spot the black and orange ship among the slate grey ships. 

And there he is. Finn can’t stop smiling as he watches Poe climbs from the cockpit, tucking his helmet under his arms and letting his curly hair blow in the wind. Finn stops and stares at the man as he climbs down the ladder, BB-8 rolling up behind him and chirping something. Poe kneels down, says something to the droid, pats his head, and stands back up, looking around.

Then he sees Finn. Finn watches his face light up, and smile spreading across his face as he drops his helmet on a nearby crate and bolts towards Finn, shouting his name as he closed the distance between them.

“Finn!”

He slows when he gets closer. Finn grips the arms of the hoverchair, doing his best to try and stand up, to try and meet Poe. But then he feels warm hands on his own, and a tight grip. 

“No, no. Sit back down.” He hears Poe say. “You need to rest.” 

“I wish everyone would stop saying that.” But Finn still relents, and Poe kneels down to meet his eyes.

“Hey.” Poe smiles.

“Hey.” Finn repeats. He rests a hand on Poe’s cheek, unsure of what to do now. So he kisses Poe. Their lips crashing together, their mouths slipping open, and their tongues fighting. Finn realizes there just how much he missed Poe, never mind that it had only been two days. 

They both pulled out of the kiss. Poe looks the same and completely different simultaneously. He was still Poe, but two days of flying had left bags under his slightly reddened eyes, and his unshaven jaw tickles Finn’s neck when Poe embraces him. “I’m so happy you’re safe.” He whispers.

“I take it you missed me?” Poe grins, but it looks forced, and Finn swears that he can see tears forming in the corners of the pilot’s eyes.

Finn let out an exasperated chuckle. “Guess you could say that.”

“Gentlemen.” They turned towards General Organa. Poe stands up hastily and they both straightened their backs. Finn winced slightly. She frowns, and Finn could feel his face get hot. 

She walked slowly towards Poe. “I’m sorry Poe.” Her voice is solemn, hushed. She places a hand on his shoulder. And for the first time, Finn notices that the Poe he just kissed is not the same Poe as before. His eyes are more red than he thought, his skin a sickly pale, his hands shaking.

_Oh no._ Finn thinks. 

He watches General Organa embrace Poe in a hug. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known better.” She says.

_Oh no._

General Organa releases Poe and gave him one final rub on his upper arm. “Come on. You need to rest, I’ll have someone else run diagnostics on your X-Wing.”

Poe nodded solemnly, and took Finn’s hand. “Thanks General.”

It was awkward at first, walking alongside one another, Finn only half Poe’s height in the chair, but they made do as they followed General Organa into the base. Everything seemed to go quiet all of the sudden. No one was talking, their heads down either looking at something in their hands or at the floor. 

“I want to talk to you tonight Finn.” General Organa stopped, and turned back towards the two of them.

“Okay.” He nodded. 

"Come on BB-8, I need your help." The droid beeped and followed the General back towards the base. 

Poe started walking again, his hand still tight around Finns. They moved again without a word, Poe leading Finn through the labyrinth of hallways. Eventually they came to a spot that was mostly deserted. Just one or two droids walking around. And then Poe stopped at a door. He lets go of Finn’s hand, punched a code into a console, and waited for the doors to slide open before walking into what Finn could only guess was his apartment.

Finn waited a few awkward moments before he pressed the chair forward. He followed where he’d seen Poe walk, and went around the tight corner into a more open area. It was one-room, with the kitchen on an elevated platform, living space situated just below it, and a comfortable looking queen sized bed at the far end.

Poe had walked towards the bed, thrown his white vest into a corner, and unzipped his flight suit, making the upper half of it fall down to his knees, exposing a tight white tank top underneath. Then he sat on the bed, sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Poe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.” Poe murmured.

“Poe.” Finn moved the chair closer to the bed, taking one of Poe’s hands when he was within reach. Poe looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

“The mission…”

Finn looked down.

“It was a trap. A few seconds after we came out of hyperspace the First Order was on us. That Destroyer we thought was abandoned came back online when we got close, and then another one came up behind us. We tried to fight, but we were outnumbered…” Poe sighed, and looked at the same spot on the floor that Finn was staring at. “We had to land on Naboo, but they were already occupied.”

“Poe…”

“That’s why the mission took so long. We had to camp out in the swamps, wait for an opening. We got out eventually, but not before they took a few of us out.”He cracked a forced smirk. “We lost Snap. It never get’s easier. No matter how long I fly. No matter what I do, it never gets any easier.” He was angry now, his hands in tight fists and his eyes still on the floor.

“Do you want me to go?” Finn asked.

Poe shook his head. “Please don’t.”

Finn moved the chair back and took his cane from it’s place it his side. Slowly, he made his way to Poe’s bed, and sat down next to him. He draped an arm around Poe’s shoulder and pulled him in closer. Poe lay his head on Finn’s shoulder. 

“Come on, you should rest.” 

“I’m going to get a shower first.” Poe sat up, taking off the rest of his flight suit and tossing his boots over a chair. He disappeared through a hidden doorway, and Finn heard the faint sound of water running. 

Finn eyed the apartment. It was small, but for someone who probably didn’t use it that much, someone like Poe, it was more than enough room. The water cut off a moment later and Poe traipsed from the bathroom, a white towel around his waist.

“One of my best friends died.” Finn blurted out. Poe looked at him, his face actually angry, but Finn kept talking. “It was my first mission out, the one where Ren capture you. I was scared, scared beyond belief. Every step I took felt like I was knee deep in mud, but I kept walking. I don’t think I ever fired my blaster actually, didn’t even think to miss on purpose. He died that night. And I held him. It was hard to think of that mask as my friend, but it was him. He went quick, but it felt like an eternity.”

Finn looked at his hands. “In the Order, they take us when we’re young, so we don’t really know where we come from, but we liked to pretend that we used to live on the same planet, in the same town. Made things a bit easier I think. We did everything together. We ate, we trained, we ever ended up in the same room as each other when we graduated to the academy. We were inseparable.

“He was even my first kiss. We did it on a whim, and we weren’t in love or anything, but we’d taken a bottle of liquor from the kitchens. And well, things happen when you’re drunk.” Finn looked back at Poe. “Not that I’m trying to make you jealous or anything.” He stammered, and saw the anger replaced with something else. Maybe sadness? “It’s just… I know what it’s like to lose a friend. And if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” Was all Poe had the energy to muster. He took Finn’s hand, rubbing it like he always did. “Thank you.” He repeated. Poe sat beside him again. Finn couldn’t help but notice he smelled like citrus.

They sat in silence for just a few seconds, but between the two of them it felt like minutes. Staring into each others deep brown eyes, drinking in the coolness of the room. It was Poe who leaned forward first, and Finn close behind him. Their lips met, mouths open almost instantly, the sweet scent of the Ganaberry juice on their breath. 

Poe took his hand back, before placing both palms open on Finn’s hips, pulling him closer. They moved slow, careful not to aggravate Finn’s injuries, but Finn didn’t care. He just wanted Poe closer.

Finn placed his own hands on Poe’s back, trying to pull him in as well. He could sense the growing heat of the pilot as they moved, their bodies getting tighter and tighter. Finn could feel his cock growing in his pants, straining the fabric against his length and forming a tent. Poe was having the same reaction, his more obvious with the towel now straining to stay on his waist. 

Then Finn twisted his waist in an effort to find a more comfortable seat, which made pain shoot through his spine and he pulled away from the kiss.

“Finn!” Poe cried out. He stood up quickly, prepared to catch Finn if he fell.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” He hissed through gritted teeth. “I turned wrong.”

“Come on.” Poe grabbed Finn’s shoulders, causing the towel to fall to the floor. “Stars!” He exclaimed. He tried to cover himself up while attempting to catch the towel as it fell, neither of which worked. He managed to trip, tumbling onto the bed face first. 

Neither Poe nor Finn could contain their laughter after that. Finn gripped his hips, trying not to turn his waist. He looked at Poe, and for a split second, saw the life enter his eyes again. He was his Poe again, if only for a little while.

“We’re a mess.” Poe said, his voice muffled by the mattress.

“But we can be a mess together.” Finn smiled, his eyes moving back towards the ceiling. 

“Want something to drink?” Poe asked.

Finn shrugged. “Sure.”

He stood up, not bothering with the towel, no longer caring that he was naked. Finn couldn’t help but watch his ass as Poe moved from one side of the apartment to the other. Poe bent down to the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of blue juice so dark it bordered on black, and poured it into a simple glass.

Poe marched back to Finn, his cock still half erect from their kiss. “Here.” That was something else he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off. It was thick, but medium sized and at the base it was shrouded with dark hair that seemed to climb up Poe’s body, dusting his chest. Finn shook his head, snapping himself out of his daze and taking the glass from Poe.

“What is it?” Finn sniffed the glass. It was sweet, with just the barest hint of something else he couldn’t name.

“Ganaberry juice. My parents used to grow them back home.” Poe sat on the edge of the bed. “Try it.”

Finn took a short, unsure sip, sure that Poe wouldn’t give him anything that Poe himself didn’t love. The moment the juice hit his lips, he was surprised with just how flavorful it was. It was sweet, but not overpowering, with a slight tang that made his tongue feel alive. “Wow.” Finn said. “That’s good.” He took another sip, before handing the glass back to Poe, who finished it off.

“Glad you like it. The berries aren’t as good as the one’s mom and dad grew, but they do the job.” Poe put the glass on the bedside table and climbed back next to Finn, and he eyed Finn’s body, and then his own.. “I think we have a clothes related imbalance here.” He smirked.

“What are you gonna do about it.”

Poe looked down again, grabbing at the hem of Finn’s shirt before slowly pulling it up. Finn raised his arms, freeing them from the sleeves, and slipped his head through the hole. Poe tossed the shirt on the floor. He unbuttoned Finn’s pants quicker, pulling the zipper down, but nearly stopped when he remembered Finn’s injuries.

“You okay?”

Finn nodded. “It’s not my legs, just my back.”

Poe continued, tossing the pants alongside the discarded shirt. He stared at Finn’s beautiful body. Tone from the training the First Order had given him, his chest nearly hairless save for a strip just below his belly button that continued below his still tented briefs. Those came next, freeing Finn’s erection, which lay straight against him.

“That’s better.” Poe whispered.

“Impressed.”

“Very.” He smiled.

They kissed again, but this time Poe pulled away first. “Is it okay if we just lay here? I’m a little tired.”

“Of course.” Finn replied. 

“Thank you.”

Poe laid down slowly, his eyes closing the moment his head hit his pillow. Finn curled up behind him, wrapping his arms around Poe’s hairy chest. Feeling Finn’s arm draped around him seemed to calm Poe. He felt safer here, with Finn, than he could ever recall feeling. Finn buried his face in the crook of Poe’s neck, kissing the soft skin there, smelling the pilot’s skin. 

They were both asleep within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouu, did I tease you there? Did ya think they were finally going to have sex? Sorry, but I thought this might be a bit more natural. Also, I'm super sorry these chapters are coming sporadically. I work full time so I write whenever I can. Hopefully you guys understand and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. It's Not Your Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe wakes up without Finn, and realizes it's time for a funeral.

Poe opened his eyes slowly, the small window at the far side of the room told him it was early morning, or at least, it _looked_ like early morning. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was alone. He felt around for Finn, but only found his blanket cast aside. Poe pulled back the sheets and sat up. The apartment was dark save for a single lamp illuminating the kitchen. 

“Finn?” Poe whispered. The only noise in the apartment came from the rain hitting his windows. Poe blinked slowly before remembering. He’d desperately hoped it’d been a single bad dream, but he knew it couldn’t be. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up at the ends, and crawled out of bed, not caring that he was naked. He walked over to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Then he found the note stuck to the counter. 

_Had to see Dr. Kolonia today, didn’t want to wake you. Come to the medic wing when you wake up._

Poe couldn’t keep back a smile. He left the note where he’d found and took a quick shower, dressed in a simple black shirt and pants, and took a jacket from his closet. He didn’t miss his old one, at least, not after he’d seen it on Finn. His only other jacket wasn’t technically a Resistance issued one, but no one complained, especially not after he’d sewn the insignia over his heart. 

The hallway outside his apartment was quiet. Not that this corner of the base was usually populated, but there was something eerie about the silence. Then it dawned on Poe that the funerals for the fallen pilots would probably be today. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his bed, but he moved forward, if only to see Finn. He kept his head down as he marched to the medical wing, careful not to look anyone in the eye as he weaved quickly through the halls. 

The medical wing was nearly as deserted, which made Poe shiver. He’d never seen the base this quiet. He looked around when he didn’t see Finn or Dr. Kolonia, but there was no one. He didn’t even hear voices. It would’ve been just his luck to get here after Finn had left. 

“Finn?” Poe called out. “Dr. Kolonia?”

There was no answer. 

“Hello?” Poe said a little more loudly. 

“Poe, so nice to see you.” Dr. Kolonia drew back a curtain. “I’d ask you to lower your voice, but as you can see I don’t have any patients today. Not that I should be complaining, but it just means I have to do paperwork.”

“Is Finn still here?” Poe asked, ignoring her comments.

“Yes, he’s getting his braces put on now.”

“Can I see him?”

“Well normally I wouldn’t object, but he’s asked me to make sure you don’t see him. Not yet anyway.”

“Why?”

“Guess he wants to keep it a surprise.” She gave a slight smirk, and took a datapad from her desk. “Stay right here, he should be done by now.” She walked through a small door that immediately closed behind her.

Poe huffed and rubbed the back of his head. It only took a few seconds for the door to _swish_ open again, but instead of Dr. Kolonia it was Finn. He walked towards Poe, his steps still unsure, almost like his feet would fail him anytime now. Poe waited for Finn to come to him, he knew that’s what Finn would want. He stood there, patiently waiting, watching every step the man took. He even stuck out his arms, like he was trying to balance, which made Poe chuckle.

“Don’t laugh.” Finn said, but he was laughing just as much.

Finally Finn was inches away from Poe, and fell into his embrace, putting his arms around the pilot’s neck. “Hey stranger.” Finn looked up at Poe.

“Hey handsome.” He leaned in for a kiss, and Finn followed. He’d already come to miss the taste of Finn. And he never wanted to let go.

Dr. Kolonia cleared her throat, making them both pull back. “Sorry Doctor.” Finn said, embarrassed.

She smiled. “No worries boys, I was young and in love once to you know.”

“So how do they feel?”

“It’s a little weird.” Finn straightened himself and looked at his legs. He looked around for a stool and took a seat, rolling up the right leg of his pants. “They’re pretty thin, so I don’t feel them that much.”

“He will need to take it easy for a few days. Get him out walking, but no more than maybe thirty minutes at a time. If his injuries were any worse he’d have to go through another bout of physical therapy, but honestly walking around this place will be enough.” 

She looked at Poe, and then back to Finn. “The braces can be submerged up to 200 meters in liquid, but I’d suggest you just avoid swimming all together if you can help it. You shouldn’t have to wear them for than a week, so no regular maintenance should be required. If you have any trouble with them at all, you come see me immediately, okay?”

Finn nodded. “Thank you Doctor.”

“No problem. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thank you.” Poe echoed. 

Finn climbed off the stool, his arm around Poe’s shoulder. “You okay?” He asked.

Finn nodded. “I think so.” He took his arm back slowly, both Dr. Kolonia and Poe watching him intently. Finn began to walk slowly towards the door, and Dr. Kolonia came closer to Poe. 

“Watch out for him, okay?”

“I will.” Poe walked off to follow Finn.

They moved slowly and with every step Finn seemed to grow more accustomed to his supports. He nearly fell once, but Poe had a firm grasp on his shoulders and caught him.

“Whoa there.” Poe exclaimed.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Finn said calmly. 

“Where you want to go?” Poe asked.

Finn thought for a few seconds. “I’m starving.”

Poe smirked. “Cafeteria it is.”

The cafeteria was surprisingly full given the time of day. Meals were served around the clock to meet the various dietary needs of the Resistance, Poe had even visited in the early hours of the morning and been able to find something snack on; but at the moment it seemed filled to capacity.

“Do you want me to grab you a plate?” Poe asked.

Finn shook his head. “I can do it.”

They joined one of the lines. Despite the length it didn’t take long to move through. They took their trays, each with a piece of bread, a meat, and a vegetable of some kind on it, and Poe grabbed two cups. They picked their place, Poe went and filled both their glasses with water, and they sat down.

“Still okay?”

Finn nodded as he cut into his meat. Neither of them could really tell what it was, but it tasted half-way decent, so they weren’t going to complain. 

“It’s still a little weird.” Finn said through bites. “And sometimes it feels like I’m losing my balance, but other than that it’s fine.”

“Is that normal?”

“Dr. Kolonia said it can take a few hours for me to really get used to them. Once I do, it should stop.”

“That’s good.” Poe eyed his food, but decided he wasn’t hungry.

“Are _you_ okay Poe?”

“No. The funerals are today.”

Finn put down his fork. “Are you going to go?”

“I have to, don’t I?”

“Not if you don’t want to. If it’s too painful I’m sure everyone would understand”

“But that would just be spitting on their graves.”

Finn stretched out a hand and took Poe’s, rubbing the space between Poe’s index finger and thumb. “It’s okay. I’ll be there with you.”

Poe smiled for just a second before it vanished. 

“What time does it start?”

Poe shrugged. “I haven’t heard any official announcements, but usually a funeral is the day after a mission. Unless we’ve had to evacuate for any reason. I’m sure word’ll spread soon.” Poe leaned his head on his free hand. 

“Come on.” Finn stood up quickly.

“Where are we going?”

“For a walk.”

“But you barely touched your food.”

“I’ll be okay. Come on.” Finn took both of their trays and left them on a conveyor belt that took them back to the kitchens, then he took Poe’s hand again and walked out into the hallway, then he stopped.

“Finn?”

Finn began to laugh. “I just realized I don’t know how to get outside.”

Poe giggled, unable to help himself. “Come on. Through here.” Poe lead Finn through a few doors before finally walking into one of the main hangars. The rest of the base seemed to be going about their business. People were making repairs to X-Wings, moving supplies to and from cargo shuttles, droids wheeled back and forth. 

“Looks busy.” Finn muttered.

“I think they’re planning another mission.” Poe said quietly. 

They walked hand-in-hand to the opening of the hangar, and out into the cool D’Qar morning. The rain had stopped, leaving the air heavy and humid, but Finn didn’t seem to mind.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular.” Finn answered.

“So we’re just going to walk around?”

Finn nodded. 

Poe was still curious, but he accepted. He hadn’t actually explored much of D’Qar, figuring it probably wasn’t that much different from Yavin. Besides, the First Order had kept him busy. They chose a trail that looked well-used, the foot traffic creating it’s own path in the woods. A few times Finn nearly slipped in the mud, but Poe kept him steady. Though one time Poe did slip, leaving his backside caked with dirt, and Finn couldn’t help but laugh before offering a hand. 

“Think it’s so funny do you?” Poe took the hand, but instead of letting Finn pull him up, Poe pulled, bringing Finn down. He landed on Poe’s chest, and was met eye to eye with the man. They both smiled, taking a few short breaths before kissing. They heard the lighting strikes above them, but they didn’t stop. Poe never wanted to stop.

He was so tired of fighting, so tired of losing people, so tired of having to risk his life. He just wanted to be with Finn. Safe, where no harm could come to them. He wanted to run away. But he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. Not yet anyway. 

They felt the first of the droplets on their skin, then it came harder, but they still didn’t quit. Neither of them willing to give up the other in that moment. Poe relished the feeling of Finn’s thick, soft lips. His taste, the feeling of his tongue. It took the rain falling in sheets for them to finally stand up. Finn pulled away, and then pulled Poe up. They ran for the nearest tree, Poe careful to watch where Finn was stepped. 

Finn collapsed, his back against the thick trunk of an abnormally large tree with a crown of leaves so thick and large that hardly any rain poured through, and Poe followed. They both laughed while looking out at the rain, which was now falling so heavily that they probably wouldn’t be able to find their way back to the base if they tried. 

“I guess staying here won’t be so bad.” Finn took Poe’s hand.

The both slid to the ground, which surprisingly wasn’t that wet, their hands still together. Finn rested his head on Poe’s shoulder, closing his eyes and listening to the sounds of the rain. 

“Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you know it wasn’t your fault.”

“What do you mean?” Poe asked, but he knew what Finn meant. There was only one thing he could be talking about. Poe’s free hand found the grass they were sitting in, and he began to nervously pull at it, one piece at a time.

“The mission. The pilots. No one could’ve known it was a trap. Besides, you didn’t even plan the mission. You just followed orders.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

Poe nodded solemnly.

“Then why do you keep blaming yourself?”

Poe shrugged. “I need someone to blame I guess.”

Finn’s grip tightened. “You shouldn’t do that. Sometimes there’s no one to blame. Sometimes things just happen and it’s nobody's fault, and sometimes you just have to be angry at the universe.”

Poe leaned his head against Finn’s. “That’s a little easier said than done sometimes.”

“I know. But it can be done.”

They waited a while for the rain to stop, but it never did. It did calm down however, enough for them to be able to see the path back to the base. They jogged up the hills, still holding one another's hand, both careful to avoid and slick looking areas. When they finally found the base they were surprised to find the hangar deserted. 

“Funeral must’ve started.” Poe mumbled. 

“Come on, you need to go.” 

Poe knew he was right.

Funerals in the Resistance were short and to the point. They had to be. Casualties were so common there wasn’t a lot of time for mourning. But they still held a ceremony. They always took place in the temple part of the base, the one spot General Organa hadn’t allowed to be converted for Resistance use. Poe couldn’t help but recall the similarities between the temple here and the ones on Yavin 4. The high arches, the pyramid shape, intricate but blockey stone work.

At the front, ahead of the rows upon rows of Resistance members, was General Organa, Admiral Satura, Admiral Ackbar, and Lieutenant Connix stood behind four empty ceremonial caskets. The Resistance couldn’t afford lavish things to bury members in, especially if there were no bodies to bury, but they tried to have _something_.

Poe and Finn didn’t join the rest of the crowd, they stayed in the shadows of the archway, careful not to draw attention.

“but I know these men and women, all of the brave pilots, gave it their all.” They heard General Organa’s speech, which told Poe the funeral was coming to a close, she always ended them with a different speech. “It is always hard to lose friends and loved ones, but it is in times like this that we need to remember to keep those people close. Life is fleeting friends, I know that all too well.” She took a short breath, and then continued. “And yes, we should mourn the dead, but we should also celebrate the living. Make the time you have alive precious, for that makes it all the more special.”

There was light applause before Lieutenant Satura stepped forward. “Soldiers.” His voice was loud, commanding. Seven soldiers all came forward, each carrying a rifle over their shoulders. They walked to the read of the room, which was large and open, with nine tall arches, no glass to separate the room from the outside, and turned on their heels. 

“On my mark.” All seven aimed into the air.

“Fire.” They each shot a bolt into the air, their rifles emitting a loud _’pop’_!

“Fire.” Satura repeated, and seven more shots rang.

“Fire!” He shouted one last time. The soldier’s stepped away after that, rejoining the rest of the procession. 

Then General Leia stepped forward. “Remember,” She raised her voice so it would echo against the stone. 

“The fight goes on.” The procession repeated these words, even Poe found himself unable to resist their pull.


	5. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe finally decide to prove how much they love one another.

The walk back to Poe’s apartment was taken in silence, but the two men stayed together, their hands entwined. Poe stared straight ahead as he lead Finn through the stone halls of the base.

“Poe? You alright?” Finn finally asked.

Poe didn’t answer. They turned the final corner towards the apartment. When they finally slipped through the doors Finn finally pulled his hand away. “Poe.” He stepped closer, grabbing Poe by his shoulders.

Poe didn’t bother answering. Instead he took Finn’s cheeks in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. It was rough, rougher than Finn thought Poe could manage, but Finn didn’t care. He opened his mouth open, begging for Poe to let him slip his tongue in.

The pilot was more than happy to oblige. Poe moved backwards, taking Finn along with him, taking off his still wet jacket and throwing it over one of the chairs. They kept walking until Poe felt the edge of his bed against his knees, and then he pulled away. 

“Finn.” He muttered, slightly out of breath.

“Poe.” Finn grinned. 

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Finn looked at him, bewildered. 

“For that.”

“You won’t hear me complaining.”

Poe cracked a smile.

“You know,” Finn began. “You promised we could try something once I was recovered.”

“I’d hardly call you fully recovered.”

Finn shrugged. “Close enough.”

Poe pulled him in for another kiss, and then took a seat at the edge of the bed. Finn wrestled himself free of his jacket, throwing it alongside Poe’s. Their clothes gave off harder, plastered to their skin thanks to the still pouring rain. Finn helped Poe take off his shirt, tossing it aside as he pushed down on Poe’s hairy chest.  
Finn leaned down, placing his legs on either side of Poe’s, glad that his braces weren’t distracting. He took Poe by the cheeks and pulling him in, only coming up for air to remove his own shirt. He could feel the heat radiating off their bodies, the humidity of rain doing them no favors. Poe ran a single hand up Poe’s body, feeling the wet skin in front of him.

“Finn.” Was all he could manage.

“Poe.” Finn leaned down again, tasting Poe’s lips, slipping his tongue back into his mouth. 

Finn could feel Poe’s hands slide down to his waist, cupping his ass. Finn’s hands wrestled into Poe’s hair, ruining whatever styling he’d done to it that morning. Then he stopped, pulling away from Poe.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Finn asked.

Poe looked at him quizzically. “Of course.”

“But are you _sure_? Absolute, one-hundred percent sure?”

“Yes Finn, why? Are you not?”

“No, I am. I just… I wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking advantage of you or anything.”

Poe placed his palms on Finn’s cheeks, pulling him in for a short kiss. “I want you Finn.” He said slowly. “Very badly.”

Finn leaned back down, placing his lips on Poe’s once more. He traced his hands along Poe’s shoulder, feeling his hot, damp skin. 

“Have you ever-?” Finn began, hoping Poe would catch on.

“There have been a few girls, one guy.”

Finn wasn’t sure how he felt about knowing Poe had been with other people. He wasn’t jealous, but this new information was interesting to say the least. 

“Then how do you want to… do this?” He regretted his childish way of asking the question the moment it left his lips.

Poe let out an exasperated chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it quite phrased like that.”

Finn couldn’t resist laughing along with him. “Sorry. It’s been awhile.”

“Why don’t we…” Finn could feel Poe’s hand moving down his stomach and to his pants. “just keep moving.” He popped the button and slowly lowered the zipper. “And see where this goes?” Poe gave him that sideways smirk.

“Fine by me.” Finn kissed him again, quickly moving from Poe’s lips to his neck, grazing the skin with his teeth, nipping at his ear lobe. Poe was already emitting sounds, whines that Finn knew would drive him crazy.

He tried to imagine what to do next, remembering what JP-9044 had liked, what 9044 had done to Finn that he adored. Finn moved to Poe’s collarbone next, biting the skin, making sure there would be a mark there for a few hours. Poe kept whining, his breath catching in his throat.

“Finn, we might have to move a little quicker.”

“Are you okay? Is it not good?”

“ _Good?_ You’re amazing. So amazing that I’m… uh… I’m close.”

The realization dawned on Finn, and he cracked a smile. He leaned in close to Poe’s ear. “You know, I learned a few tricks in the First Order. Wanna try those?”

Poe chuckled again. “As long as they don’t involve reading my mind or tying me up, I think that’d be okay.”

Finn bit at his earlobe on last time before he began to slide down Poe’s body, running his hands along his hair covered chest. He reached Poe’s pants, slowly undoing the buckle of his belt and unbuttoning his pants, sliding them down carefully. Poe’s underwear was straining against his erection, stretching the fabric as it tried to get free. 

Finn mouthed at his cock through the fabric, tasting the precum forming. He could feel Poe write underneath him, biting on his thumb and index finger to bury a moan.

“Stars Finn.”

“Just wait.” Poe traced his fingers along the hem, pulling it down, setting Poe’s cock free. It was long and thick. Finn took the base in his hand, moving up and down at a pace he knew would drive Poe crazy. He waited a few more seconds before taking the head into his mouth, making sure Poe was fully erect. 

He smiled when he heard Poe hiss, trying to keep another moan in. Finn moved slowly, inch by inch, until he could feel the head of Poe’s cock at the back of his throat. He gagged, it’d been at least a year since he’d last done this. He stopped, waited a few seconds, trying to control his breathing. 

Poe didn’t seem to mind. He kept himself from bucking forward further into Finn’s mouth. It didn’t take long for Finn to recover, and his head began to slowly bob up and down, Poe’s cock sliding in and out of his mouth. Poe was already on the edge, the heat of Finn’s mouth was almost too much.

“Finn, I’m close.” Poe whispered. 

Finn pulled the erection out of his mouth, licking from the base to the head one last time, his hand still on the base, moving up and down steadily. “That quick huh?”

“I think I can blame you for that.” Poe rested his hand on his forehead, which was already glistening with sweat. 

“Can I try something else?”

Poe nodded enthusiastically, running a hand through his already mussed up hair. Finn kissed Poe’s cock one more time before slipping his own fingers into his mouth. Finn could feel Poe tense up underneath him, fully aware of what Finn was about to try.

He wet his fingers thoroughly, making sure they were slick with his saliva. Finn slid his hands in between Poe’s thighs, the pilot spreading his legs in response. 

“This okay?” Finn asked.

“Yeah, it’s just been awhile. I might be tight.”

Finn placed a single kiss on the inside of Poe’s right thigh. “That’s why I’m about to do this.”

Finn’s middle finger slid in without much resistance. He stretched and probed the skin, relaxing the muscle. Poe mewled as Finn slid in as far as he could. He searched for something to grip while Finn slid another finger in alongside the first, pulling in and out slowly, scissoring. Poe lifted his waist, pulling back so that Finn could angle his fingers in deeper. 

“You _are_ tight.” Finn said, half laughing.

“Told you.” Was all Poe could manage. 

Then Poe saw white as Finn brushed against his prostate and he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He came in several long spurts, shooting all over his stomach and face. It was enough to keep him distracted from Finn sliding in two more fingers. He kept brushing up against his prostate, torturing the muscle and Poe’s over sensitive body. He nearly cried, his eyes watering, threatening to spill over as Finn kept prodding. 

“Finn, you have to fuck me.”

“I _have_ to?” Finn teased.

“Either that or you can sit back and let me fuck myself on your cock, but I much prefer the former.”

Finn smiled, his face filled with satisfaction. “Your wish is my command.” His fingers slid out, but not before he made one last brush at Poe’s prostate. The pilot could feel himself getting harder already, and the image of Finn standing above him, getting ready to plow into him without mercy wasn’t helping. 

Finn slid his pants down, taking off his underwear in the same move. His cock was shorter than Poe’s but thicker. _Much_ thicker. Poe swallowed when he saw it, hanging down between between his legs. 

“Are you still okay with this?”

“If you don’t fuck me now I might just slap you.” Poe stated. He’d meant it as a joke, but he could already feel the absence of Finn’s fingers inside of him, and he desperately needed it filled. 

Poe crawled up the bed, resting his head on the pillow as Finn followed, brushing a hand along Poe’s cheek. He kissed Poe, silently guiding his cock to Poe’s entrance. Despite the stretching there was still a little resistance. Poe hissed as the pain shot through his back, and then he melted into the bed as it was replaced by pleasure. 

Finn worked slowly. Giving Poe just a little at a time. He was an average length, but the thickness took some getting used to. He’d teased 9044 the day after their first time, when he’d seen the man walking bowlegged. 

He never took his eyes off Poe, making sure what he did wasn’t causing discomfort or pain. When Poe let out a low moan he knew he’d found his prostate again. He felt Poe’s hand run along his back, his nails scratching lightly at the skin with every thrust Finn made. 

Finn pulled out to his head, grabbing at the back of Poe’s legs and pushing his knees to his chest. Poe watched waiting for Finn to find his position again before he wrapped his legs around Finn’s back, pulling him as close as he could. They both grunted when Finn pushed in again, the new found angle throwing them both into pools of pleasure. 

Poe whined as Finn seemed to release all his control, fucking into Poe without warning. He could feel the cock sliding in and out of him, hitting his prostate every time. The apartment was filled with the sounds of their grunts and whines, making them both grateful that they were alone. Poe could feel himself getting close. Finn on top of him, his cock sliding in and out, the bits and kisses he was leaving. It was all too much, his cock hung heavy. 

“Poe, I’m getting close.” Finn said, his hips never stopping.

“I am too baby, come on, come on.” Was all Poe could muster.

“I’m gonna-” He released with a long groan, his cum shooting deep into Poe’s body. The pilot could feel the hot seed spreading inside him filling him up. That was enough to make Poe cum twice. He shot again, leaving it all over his and Finn’s stomachs. 

Finn didn’t pull out, not right away. He slowly thrust back into Poe, bottoming out. 

“Aw man.” Poe let out. His nerves were on fire, and Finn wasn’t helping. “Finn.”

“Poe.” He came in closer, kissing Poe, sliding his tongue into the man’s mouth. He let his weight fall on Poe, the two of them completely exhausted. “That was amazing.”

They both tried to catch their breath, their sweaty bodies colliding, only making the mess between them worse. 

“It was…” Poe began. “I dunno the right word.”

“But it was good?” Finn asked.

“Incredible.” Poe stared at Finn, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in for one more kiss. “I love you Finn.”

“I love you too Poe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 'the end'!
> 
> Sorry if you guys were expecting more, but I really felt like this was a good way to end this story. I didn't want any huge action set pieces, or diving into Rey's Jedi training. When I set out to write this story, I just wanted to write a love story. 
> 
> Who knows, maybe I'll write more between these two, but for now, I'm pleased to be able to call this project complete!


End file.
